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So I watched The Departed yesterday.

(Spoilers following for The Departed and also The Conversation.)

This may be a touch ‘guy who’s only seen Boss Baby watching his second movie’ of me, but in that whole mess of snitches and traitors and lies I couldn’t help being reminded of The Conversation—another film about how, no matter how miserable it is, you can never ever let your guard down because none of your secrets are ever truly secret. One of my favourite scenes is the one that most clearly illustrates this point: the protagonist, surveillance expert Harry Caul, has just had his lover—whom he refused to tell any personal details about himself—run out on him. In a quiet corner at a party, he details the situation to a woman and asks her what she would do if a man was that reticent with her. Harry’s crushing paranoia (understandable in itself, given his firsthand knowledge of how easy it is to spy on people) extends to a total emotional lockdown; this is the closest he ever gets to soul-baring, the first and last time he will display even a tiny corner of himself to any other living person. Immediately after, it turns out that entire conversation was recorded, and all his friends at the party have an uproarious laugh at his expense as it's played back for public entertainment.

It’s that sense of kick-in-the-teeth betrayal that I like in The Departed. The world is a pit of vipers; everyone is always deceiving everyone else, usually in the most devastating way possible. (Dr. Madolyn Madden, pretty much the only important character who is neither cop nor criminal, is still in a way playing both sides; a cheater and a liar “to keep an even keel.” As a certain television doctor would put it, everybody lies.) Both moles, Billy and Colin, are the most trusted members of the organisations they are respectively betraying: criminal informant Colin is the one chosen to hunt down the criminal informant in the state police, undercover cop Billy is the one who is given Costello’s top-secret evidence. Towards the end of the film a bunch of Costello’s most trusted criminals are revealed to be cops and a bunch of cops are revealed to be secretly criminals. Costello says it himself, unintentionally prophetic: cop or criminal, what’s the difference? Everybody lies. Everybody snitches. Everybody snitches on everybody else to everybody else.

Which brings us to the question: what the fuck was the point of all that?

At the end of The Conversation, Ann and Mark (the couple whose titular conversation was spied on) have successfully murdered her husband and gotten off scot free. They, at least, will live happily ever after. By the time credits roll on The Departed, who has gotten anything of value, let alone what they might want? Both our main characters’ stories end with them being unceremoniously shot in the face. Billy’s profile in the police database is deleted, erasing any proof he was ever a cop and any chance of being compensated for his work; immediately after he dies. The mob boss to which Colin dutifully informed his entire adult life turns out to be a federal informant himself; his girlfriend walks out on him, and he can’t enjoy the bit of class he’s clawed for himself (the only other thing he seems to value, symbolised chiefly by his bougie apartment with a view of the state capitol) because he too is swiftly murdered, by a police sergeant whose motives we can only guess at. Maybe he found out that Colin was a rat all along. Maybe he’s another rat and he’s bought Colin’s upstanding-cop act. Maybe just for the fuck of it. Who gives a shit anyway? Cop or criminal, what’s the difference? It doesn’t matter. None of it matters. The criminals snitch to the cops who snitch to the criminals who snitch to the cops and et fucking cetera. They lie and betray and hunt and kill, and no one wins, and even if they did, what would they get? What we get is one last shot of Colin's precious apartment with its view of the capitol, as a rat scurries across the balcony. You could say it followed him out of the projects, if you believe he ever went anywhere at all.
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Oh man, it's been a minute since I was on here. It'll probably be another minute, considering how crowded the next few weeks plan to be, but I am promising myself if no one else that when I have the time I will come and post my Movie Thoughts on here, seeing as the kind of disjointed essays I crank out every time I see something I like are more suited to this platform than Tumblr. (I spend too much time on Tumblr anyway...) To wit: I urgently need to rewatch Eyes Wide Shut, because every so often I will find myself returning to my memory of it to gnaw out the marrow, and this is what rewatches are for. I have also recently read the excellent web novel 1 Over X, so I am primed to think about reprises, dark mirrors, unreality, the question of what separates reality from unreality, the question of who decides what is Real and the sociopolitical factors that give them this power + motivate this decision, the inherent sinister undertones of wealth, people who are slightly too polite and friendly to the point where it becomes unnerving, going in and out of places, not being allowed to go in and out of places...

(Also, once I start posting on DW about movies, I will inevitably have to unveil the oceans of ink I have spilled about every goddamn frame of Whiplash. But I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.)
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1. one place you volunteer (or would like to)? Why?
I'd like to volunteer at my uni hospital. It's good work and I find hospitals oddly soothing.

2. one book you'd like to see made into a movie? Why?
Ned Beauman's Madness is Better than Defeat is a strange tangled layer cake of a novel; I don't know how much I liked it, but I do know I badly want to see it onscreen. It's got everything. Drama! Chaos! Romance! Blood! Elaborate conspiracies that end up coming to absolutely nothing! An ending that is already just the literary version of a cut to the title card as Thematically Significant Ending Music plays!

3. one creature (living, extinct, or mythical) you'd like for a pet? Why?
If I could have a tiger, I would have a tiger.

4. one place on Earth you'd like to visit? Why?
Rome. Art, history, pasta.

5. one talent or skill you'd like to develop? Why?
Learning Amharic. This is only really 80% because I want to speak the language and roughly 20% so people will stop getting on my case about it.
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So I've officially made landfall on Dreamwidth. Hello, world.

Currently: writing a paper, packing for my trip to Addis, reading The Price of Salt, trying to use up a bunch of avocados.

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